When I was a little girl, I was afraid. This wasn’t a child’s fear of the dark or spiders. I lived on the third floor in an apartment above my grandparents in a brick house on 29th Street in Astoria, Queens, outside of New York City. My grandmother would come out before I left for school. Sirens shriek in the background of my childhood memories. Astoria General Hospital was right down the block. I was wearing my uniform and heading to St. Demetrios Greek Orthodox School. My yiayia would tell me to make the sign of the cross before I left for school and to have 100 eyes. The 100 eyes were to look for danger. I was trained to be hypervigilant and look for catastrophe. I was a terrified girl in a big city, and I did not feel safe, as my eyes darted about looking for someone who would hurt me.
We watched the news each night while we ate dinner in the 70s and 80s. I was a sensitive child who had a mother who decided that she would “toughen” me up to prepare me for the world that I would have to survive in. I remember my stomach turning as I watched news stories of a violent city and world. I prayed to God that he would protect my mother and grandmother from rape as a young child.
I never felt safe on this planet until last year when I went through the Avatar® courses. It was after the second course where I become an Avatar® Master that I searched myself for the familiar watchful fear of danger, and it was gone. I discreated life-long terror with a few simple exercises that Harry Palmer, the creator of the Avatar® tools gives us through the courses.
The Avatar® courses give students tools to change beliefs and manage their attention. I had a lot of fixed attention on certain things. What if someone died? What if someone got cancer? Even though I had been on a constitutional homeopathic remedy for over a decade, and was much less anxious, I began to realize that I had beliefs under my beliefs. I had beliefs that were running my life, and I did not know what they were.
After years of therapy, including EMDR, and many other self-help techniques, I did not know how to move my attention away from certain thoughts. I did not know how not to yell at my son when he pushed my buttons for the 20th time. I certainly didn’t know how to relax into my life situations without resisting them.
I am now a licensed Avatar® Master who brings students through the courses. My life looks different in many ways. I am calmer. I don’t fret as much. My relationship with my son is delightful and light and fun (most of the time). I am more present in my work as a homeopath. I can do an exercise and move beliefs that do not work out of my life. I then create new beliefs that are supportive.
Homeopathy can heal the soul, the very center of our being. And yet a homeopathic remedy cannot show a client their transparent hidden beliefs. We think so much all day, and we have indoctrinated beliefs from childhood. Our teachers put their beliefs into us. Our parents poured their beliefs into our hearts and minds. Along my path, I realized that I had gathered other people’s ideas and made them my own. I decided that I didn’t want to live from other people’s beliefs anymore. I am creating a peaceful life in service to others.
Avatar® is not a philosophy, nor is it an esoteric practice. The course gives us tools to experience in order to change our lives. I can now listen to intensely tragic stories that my clients tell me, and not spin into melancholy for days. I do not have to clear my space, nor do I have to protect myself with imaginary walls and boundaries that people tell us to put up. I no longer need the idea of karma to explain bad things.
After decades of seeking, I am deliberately me. I am Dianna, a homeopath, a writer, a woman of Greek descent who is Orthodox Christian. I am also an Avatar® Master who shares tools with students to help them realize that they are creating their life as they take personal responsibility. We do not need to follow gurus, wellness celebrities or coaches. We can source our own reality right now.
If you are interested in a free introduction, let me know. You will get a few tools that you can use in your daily life. Give it a try. It changed my world, and I am no longer afraid.